Conversations

[Colossian 4
Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.]

This message came out of our discussions in the ‘Living Collective’ missions elective. The living Collective focus is not a one-time programme, it is not an event driven campaign, but a long term initiative that.

For many believers, evangelism is something they must be deliberate at. They must plan to do it or even schedule it on their calendar. While this is not altogether bad (doing evangelism is never "bad"), it does not represent the ideal. Jesus Christ seemed to travel around the countryside speaking very conversationally about His faith and relationship with His Father. For us, we too should speak of our relationship with Christ very conversationally, as an ongoing witness to His role in and effect on our lives. In this way, we present a living testimony to our ongoing walk with Christ.

Sometimes in the busyness of our daily lives that, for many people, are very project oriented, we can slip into making people evangelism "projects." What does this mean? It translates into having friendships with people for sake of sharing the Gospel with them rather than having a relationship with them just because people are valuable to God and are worthy of relationship. This is a subtle yet common dynamic. We have to be steadfast in valuing people simply because they belong to God. God is responsible for convicting their hearts towards Salvation; we must be their friends first and foremost regardless of their conversion (1 Thes 2:8).

It dawned on me that was not what I was taught as a typical Kiwi Evangelical. We were taught to "Share our faith. Live our life." As such it was very important to be busy witnessing - sharing our faith. Sharing the Four Spiritual Laws, or pointing out sin, or pushing for a commitment were all part of sharing our faith. Good arguments about creation, abortion, the inerrancy of scripture, plus exposing the cults, humanists, atheists, liberals, socialists and communists were also part of sharing our faith. We were schooled in how to make our "testimony" fit our theology of "say the prayer and get your free ride to heaven".

Our life on the other hand, well that is something that is a gift from God to develop and so become successful, make money, accumulate things, influence or power. In other circles about all you could do with your life was to become a pastor or preacher if you really had faith.
Live your faith! Share your life! This is what the world needs. It can't be done in a building where the church meets for worship.
It’s a process of modelling and explaining the Christian message; living in a dynamic relationships. However...
“We live in a society that is dominated by a fear of the “other,” and this fear results in separation and isolation.”

So, I have been thinking about conversations lately, which follows on from 'living our faith; sharing our lives. It's in our conversations that we can naturally engage with people and talk about Jesus.

Perhaps we need to look at the meaning of conversation before we go any further.
Meaning of Conversation. Conversation n. The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk. BUT I would also hasten to add that for a conversation to have traction there needs to be a lot of listening going on.

So we must remember that it is a 'spoken exchange", not just one way talking, not a speech or sermon! Jesus didn't just speak to people he had conversations.
The New Testament is full of conversations that Jesus had; especially if we read through Matthew’s gospel. Can we gain something by looking at how Jesus engaged in conversations.

1. No Template for Conversation. Jesus didn't use a 'template' for his conversations, they were all different. Jesus had no wooden formula which he followed, but rather was about engaging people in the depths of their being. (Read Matthew 12:38-40)
This shows a very direct approach; because he saw the intent of the heart. We also must be prudent when we meet people and not be gullible with some questions or intentions. Jesus avoided arguing people into accepting his view.

2. Intentionality: Being Amongst People
We notice that Jesus was amongst people; if you don't meet people or if you stay within your own small circle of friends then it's impossible to have any conversation that will engage people without faith. Sure Jesus had many conversations with his 'close circle of friends' the disciples, they are important but if we want people to encounter Jesus then we need to be amongst people. Where do we meet people; at work, in the neighbourhood, at the gym at the local shops.

3. Engagement: Talking with People
Now Jesus could have been amongst people, he could have been in crowds but if he just walked right through them and didn't stop, look at them and talk with them then there still would not be any conversation. Often within our neighbourhood we think because people can see us going to church then that's enough to tell them about Jesus or because we say to our neighbours "We are Christians, so we don't drink or do bad things, can't come to your parties or go to the rugby with you. But hey, Jesus loves you!". This is not conversation.
Sometimes we are so busy doing 'ministry', or other important activities that we just don't have time to stop and talk. Jesus had an agenda (busy) for his day, there were important things he needed to do, as we read in Matt 16. Jesus sets about going to Jerusalem to his death; that's his agenda which is very important. Then in the next chapter he stops to heal someone (Matt 16:21 & Matt 17:14). He had a conversation. Again in Luke 19 as Jesus was on his way he stopped and had a conversation with Zacchaeus. When I go walking I like to engage with people.

4. Relevant: Asking Questions & Listening for Answers
(Matthew 9:27-30a)Jesus was amongst people, Jesus talked to people. Jesus didn't just talk but he listened, he asked questions.
If we just talk to people they will turn off, go to sleep even. At night time when my wife and I go to bed we sometimes pray before we go to sleep. Usually my wife says to me "you pray", however if I talk for too long then I know for certain that she will be asleep! Our conversations need to be received by the other party and a response given. I think we as Christians have been guilty in our interacting with those without faith to talking to them but not engaging them in conversation. We often end up telling people how bad they are and what we don't do. The world however needs conversation; it wants to ask questions and craves stories about life. Not rules quoted from a book but answers to their questions, a listening ear and they want to be included in the stories that connect with their struggles and joys.

“To the extent that the church learns to listen and helps us to consistently improve as listeners, that’s the extent to which the church will continue to not only be relevant but it will become a place that we can’t live without.”– if only we could listen like Jesus… if only.” “the church’s ability to listen will determine it’s relevancy”

People have a low opinion of the church! Consider the bumper sticker “Dear God, please save me from your followers!” We are obliged to identify the underlying accusation and offer a response. We need to hear their questions and often these three questions are at the core. 1. Why should I trust you? 2. Isn’t that just YOUR reality? 3. What good is Christianity?

The truth is, the death of civility in Western public life has made it harder and harder for people to have an actual conversation, which is people listening to each other. Too often, I think, we don’t feel that the other person has anything worth hearing. When we fail to see those who passionately hold differing political, cultural, or religious opinions as well-meaning human beings like ourselves, when instead we reduce them to cardboard caricatures, fools, traitors, or heathen, how can we possibly hope the divide between us might be bridged? If you call my views on medicine socialist or I call your religious views shallow legalism, why should either of us pause to listen—or to imagine the views of our counterparts might bear any wisdom?

5. Authenticity: Empathetic & Not Superficial. He showed empathy with people; Our conversations will mean nothing unless they are real!
(John 11:32 – 36) When we engage with people we need to enter their world, to rejoice with them, mourn with them. Jesus did and it was honest emotion. If we stand apart from those we meet our conversation will be just on the surface and they will be reluctant to open up and share their true self.

Jesus went beyond the superficial;
He wanted to see lives changed, people healed, set free from sin and oppression. He wasn't satisfied with a "how are you" then continue on your way. He wanted to really know how the person was.

When we are in conversation with people we need to be listening carefully to what people are really saying and we need to sensitively engage with their real needs as they reveal them to us.

A Conversation
John 4: 1-45 records a wonderful conversation that Jesus had with a Samaritan woman; a story that most people will know already. It so wonderfully illustrates the kind of conversation that results in a person knowing they have had an encounter with 'The Messiah', it changed her life and those from her town.

Jesus was probably tired (the disciples went off to get food), he could have logically argued against talking to her as she was 'outside' his cultural norms (A Samaritan, a woman, a loose woman). Jesus engaged her in a conversation that avoided 'red herrings', that stayed with the important issues and heard the need of her heart.

Jesus stopped, talked, empathized, he didn't judge but spent time with her; our conversations will demand time and may take us into the messy places of life. But then that is what love is all about especially unconditional love.

1 Thessalonians 2:8
We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.
“As we go through these doors into a new week, let us be the love of God amongst those we meet and speak words of love into our conversations...”